


Three Damn Words

by everydayistuesday



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is mentioned too, Castiel Loves Dean, Dean Loves Castiel, I tagged as destiel even tho they’re not a thing yet, ahhhhhhh, but he’s not in it, but we all know the truth, i don’t even know how to tag this, i literally wrote it in the hour before it aired, it’s not edited, i’m sorry to anyone reading these tags, the empty is mentioned too, written pre 15x19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:41:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27533941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everydayistuesday/pseuds/everydayistuesday
Summary: Sam finds Dean in the dungeon with a bloody handprint on his shoulder. Cas is nowhere to be seen. Written pre 15x19. One-shot.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 63





	Three Damn Words

**Author's Note:**

> This is short because I wrote it in the hour before 15x19 because this is how I cope. Any and all mistakes are mine.   
> Good luck to everyone watching the episode live tonight. I’m seeing it late, but I have a feeling that, like Cas, we will be passing away (unlike Cas, I fear it will be permanent).

They had found him with his head in his hands, collapsed against the far wall of the dungeon. 

  
Sam had let out the breath he was holding; Dean was alive.

“We thought you were dead, Dean! Would it really hurt you to pick up your damn phone?” At Dean’s lack of response, Sam softened his voice slightly. “Dean?” 

Dean looked up, revealing red-rimmed, empty eyes. They held none of the fight they had when Sam had last seen him, before he and Cas had gone off to kill Billie. Now, Dean was a mere shell of himself.

Sam had never seen anyone look so broken. 

His eyes traveled from Dean’s face to the bloody handprint on Dean’s jacket. It clicked.

“Where’s Cas?” Sam asked, dreading the answer. 

“Where do you think, Sammy?” Dean said, voice hollow. 

The dungeon fell silent. 

“Did Billie-“

Dean cut him off. “I did.”

“What?”

“I killed Cas,” Dean said.

“But that doesn’t make any sense,” Jack said insistently. “You wouldn’t kill Cas.”

“Well, I did.” 

End of discussion. At least, that seemed to be what Dean wanted. 

“Dean-“ Sam paused. “What really happened?”

Dean didn’t answer right away. 

“He made a deal,” he said thickly after a while. “With the Empty. When he was happy-“ Dean broke off. 

“When he was happy, the Empty would take him,” Jack finished for him. He looked fixedly away from the brothers. 

“What?” Sam glanced between Jack and Dean. 

“It was to save me,” Jack said, still refusing to meet either of their eyes. “Cas asked me not to tell you.”

Sam’s jaw tightened slightly. Of course. Keeping secrets (and having those secrets kill you) was commonplace amongst Team Free Will. 

“I don’t get it,” Sam said, fighting the urge to snap at the others. “So Cas just… became happy? While you were killing Billie?” 

“The wound was already fatal, but Billie- she cornered us, and-“ Dean took a breath. “We were going to die. So- so he-“ He scrubbed a hand down his face. “He told me he loved me.”

Sam stared at him. Cas- Cas had-

  
Sam wasn’t sure when he had realized Cas was in love with Dean. He knew it had been a while ago, though. Back before the angels had fallen. But Cas had never said anything about it. Eventually, enough time had passed that Sam figured he never would. 

But here they were, and he  _ had _ . 

“And?” 

“And I couldn’t say it back.” Dean’s voice broke. “The son of a bitch sacrificed himself for me and I couldn’t even say three damn words. And now he’s gone, and I’m never going to get to tell him-“ 

  
“We’ll get him back,” Sam said. “Him and everyone else.” 

“I love him, Sam,” Dean whispered. “I really love him.”

“I know.”

And he did. Dean was never subtle when he liked someone. Between the way he said the angel’s name and how he looked at him and a million other things, Sam knew. 

“We should start in the library,” Jack suggested. “I’ll go, uh, I’ll go find some books.” He left the room quickly. 

“You coming?” Sam asked. 

Dean was staring fixedly at the wall now. “Yeah. Yeah, just, uh, just give me a minute.”

Sam nodded, and made for the library. He didn’t hear the promise Dean made to the empty room. 

_ “Cas, I hope you have your ears on. I’m coming. We’re gonna get you back, and I’m going to tell you. I swear to god we’re gonna get you back. Just hang in there, angel. I love you too.” _


End file.
